The real social struggle at CSB/SJU is to avoid becoming popular so you get a moment or two of peace throughout the day. Succeeding at being unpopular at this place borders on the impossible, as the community is so welcoming and friendly that sitting alone in the Refectory to enjoy a bowl of soup and the latest Steven King novel might as well be walking on water.
On paper, that’s a very good thing, as people here enjoy the friendships of countless unique students, staff and faculty. But if you plan on enjoying the pensive solitude of a cup of coffee and USA Today’s sports section, I suggest you look for another school. The campus community here simply will not allow you to be lonely. You’re going to be happy and popular, and you’re going to damn well like it.
You swipe your card at the entrance and head to a remote table in the back corner of Gorecki, hoping to plow through similarly-sized stacks of English literature and brownies. Yet even before you crack the glossy textbook cover or sink your teeth into gooey chocolate %u2014 before you even make it five steps %u2014 the hailing calls of classmates, friends and dorm neighbors. Chaucer will have to wait.
Why do countless students trudging the icy sidewalks firmly plug in earbuds? Certainly to enjoy the dulcet tones of the latest rock band or rap deity, but also for another reason, one that is more difficult to see. They do it because for thirteen minutes on the Link, you’re forced to sit next to someone so utterly amazing and genuine that they’ll introduce themselves if you don’t turn the music up. And that endless friendliness, for some people, is exhausting. But for most, it’s just a Friday.
After all, merely getting to class on time requires a monumental exertion of energy to avoid greeting everyone passing in the other direction – to avoid the stream of sweatpant-clad bobbleheads nodding ceaselessly at you.
Perhaps this is the legendary “Minnesota Nice” every non-native student is indoctrinated into upon their arrival each August. And yet, even people from around the state who visit the campus bemusedly check their reflection to ensure the reason the last six people have offered cheery greetings isn’t some horrible jibe at some food or dirt on their face.
No, this unavoidable niceness is unique to the microcosm of CSB/SJU for better or for %u2014 with a nod to your dog-eared library book %u2014 the worse. You won’t be able to shovel pasta into your mouth to the sounds of Mozart or 50 Cent, because someone is going to sit down in front of you and “how are you” are like this was Dr. Phil. Nobody here will allow you to forlornly page through People magazine between sips of latte while waiting for the Link.
The sooner students realize that being left to your own devices is about as likely as that nasty girl on The Bachelor getting a rose, the better. Then, you’ll schedule your homework or loneliness for a different time, and won’t be surprised when a complete stranger strikes up a conversation as if you have been friends since grade school.
That’s just who we are.