Dear Bennie,
I came to college hoping to
enjoy the college life and to find new friends. Unfortunately, all I hear about are seniors getting engaged and the reputation these schools have for forming long-term relationships. How do I tell a girl that I am not ready for a full-time relationship, and just want to casually date?
Frightened Freshman
Dear Frightened Freshman,
Let me start by telling you this %u2013 you’re not alone. In the past month I have had at least five of my close Bennie or Johnnie friends get engaged. I’m super happy for them, don’t get me wrong, but I am in my early twenties and just looking to have a good time in college.
This time of our lives is for
experiencing new things, enjoying the college life and finding new friends. Most likely, you are going to meet “the one” doing the things you love anyway, so why worry about it? It’s something that should just happen.
Which brings me to your question – how to tell someone you’re looking to have a good time and to just casually date.
First, honest communication is one of the greatest qualities women look for in a man. Being up front with her about where you stand with her is the key to making the relationship work, no matter what you want that relationship to be. If you aren’t going to want an exclusive relationship, tell her! Believe me, it may be awkward but it will be worth it in the end. Ultimately, don’t lead her on and make her think you want more than you do.
Second, keep your options open. Don’t shut out the idea that you may meet a Bennie on the bus who makes you want to take her home to meet your mom immediately. You don’t want to close the door, but rather have it propped open in order to experience what could be out there.
Lastly, have fun. Don’t let all the reputations of long-term relationships and engagements get in your way of going out and having a good time. Trust me, there are plenty of beautiful Bennies out there looking for the exact same thing as you.
Don’t worry about finding your lifelong partner tomorrow on the Link or in Sexton. Rather, talk to that cute Bennie sitting next to you and start by being her friend. Flirt often, smile and be yourself. You’re going to be just fine.
Sincerely,
Bennie